"Hi my name is Geisha and I’m a single mama to a 2.5 year old toddler boy. We’re still breastfeeding, crazy I know!
I always really wanted to exclusively breastfeed my child for the first few months and I always wanted to give him the space and opportunity to self-wean. I’ve been blessed enough to be able to do this. It hasn’t always been easy though.
Breastfeeding is a challenging journey. From a personal point, its taxing on your body. You just carried a human for 9 months, then you birthed them and now you have to be their food source?! It is overwhelming to say the least. Postpartum hormones, leaky breasts, sore nipples, clogged ducts, feeling touched out and isolated all at the same time. There’s a lot, emotionally and physically, that goes into breastfeeding your child.
To add to the already challenging journey, we have to deal with external sources who don’t fully understand or support this journey. For me, I had people close to me who didn’t agree with exclusively breastfeeding my son. They challenged me, questioned me and made me feel like a bad mother for wanting to do something that was so natural for me and my son and also what is considered best for him.
When I breastfed in public I felt eyes on me. I felt embarrassed and ashamed to feed my child in public unless I was able to cover him up (which he hated and never let me do). For the first few months I never wanted to leave my house because I was exclusively breastfeeding, on demand and I didn’t want to be starred at. I didn’t want it for myself, but I also didn’t want my son experiencing the disgusted stares.
Here’s the thing. Eventually, you stop caring! You are your child’s food source and life source. You provide them with all their basic needs, including comfort. Breastfeeding is so much more than just feeding your child. Its a sense of security, comfort, home in a very big and scary world. They’re brand new to this crazy world that we have a hard time dealing with after decades of living in it.
I breastfeed my son everywhere and anywhere. He’s older now so he doesn’t ask for it as much but whenever he does, I provide it for him. Because that’s what he feels like he needs at the moment. And as his mom, I’ve made it my duty to provide for him what he needs. I don’t care who’s around or staring. Its taken me a couple years to get to this point, but there’s so much peace and happiness once you get there.
If anyone questions you for choosing to breastfeed your child, in public, in private…anywhere…as hard as this is, ignore them. Find a way to create peace in knowing that your child will grow up with a bond with you like no other.
Ultimately, it is your choice, it is your body. And while not everyone will understand the journey that you’re taking with your child, have pride in it. There are a lot of us who know the struggles and hardships that come with breastfeeding.
It helped me to constantly remind myself that there are so many women who wish they were able to breastfeed and I was one of the lucky ones who was able to and that I should be appreciative that my body is able to provide this for my son. This mentality makes me extremely grateful for every moment I have on this journey."
~ Geisha